I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
