His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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