Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
