ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
