soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
