I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
