I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
