Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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