Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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