so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
