just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
