I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
