SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
