carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
