so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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