even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
