I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
