glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
