I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
