I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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