This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
