he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was like eating out sand paper
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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