it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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