Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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