she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
