She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
