He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
