I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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