I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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