I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
