Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
