So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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