I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
