I've blown a few things in my day
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
