Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
