i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
