yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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