Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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