Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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