The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
