I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
