...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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