all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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