Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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