we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
