so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
