forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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