last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
