Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
