we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
